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Here's the beginning of the chapter "She Will Never Tell You What She Wants, But Will Expect You To Know." We thought it was apropos to share for Christmas and the giving season! Subscribe to receive the entire chapter for free here or at the end of the excerpt.
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She
Will Never Tell You What She Wants, But
Will Expect You To Know (excerpt)
Most
women actually think they are asking
for what they want, and don’t realize they’re about as obvious as a whisper in
a windstorm. They give you hints and clues with subtle indicators like winks,
head nods, and leaving a window open on the computer, and figure... Well he must know. I gave him all those
clues. Meanwhile, most men simply wish the women in their lives would
straight-up just say exactly what they want without all the detective work.
Why
is this the way it is? Well, it comes down once again to how women communicate
and perceive things. You think you’re speaking the same language, but you’re
not. Women use a secret language, a covert way of communicating that is full of
physical, emotional and verbal subtext and innuendo. The funny thing is that
for women, their subtext-laden language isn’t subtle at all. To them it is
perfectly obvious, like the nose on your face. They truly think everyone talks
this way. This is why women overanalyze and think there is more to what you say
than what you actually said. You've heard it before, after you say something
very clear and simple, your woman asks, what
do you mean by that? They hear subtext and subtlety because that’s the way they hear as well as communicate.
To
you, the man, it often seems as though your woman is just rambling. To a woman,
what they said was simple and direct, even when it seems they have not said
anything. Remember, they are communicating even when they are not talking. The
real rub is that a lot of the time what she means
is the opposite of what she is actually saying.
For
example it could go like this:
You:
Hey
babe, Jenny wants us to come over for the pre-game party.
Her:
Why?
You know how I hate her.
You:
What
are you talking about, you talk to Jenny all the time?
Her:
I
don't want to go to her barbecue.
You:
But...
You... But she’s like your best friend.
Her:
But
that doesn't mean I want to hang with her all the time.
You:
Oh...
Okay. So you want…. us… to… not go?
Her:
(giving you a nasty look)
We can't not go, are you
insane? You said we would go, and plus that would be insulting if we didn't go.
You:
So... You doooo… want…
to...go? You just said you didn't though.... I'm confused.
Her:
(looking at you like you’re stupid)
Just
because I said I didn't want to go doesn't mean we shouldn't go.
You
(more confused)
Ok?....
What are we doing?
Her:
(pissed off)
Did
you not just listen to me! Let’s just go!
Dizzying isn't it? She is operating on a
completely different set of rules...
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